There are basic guidelines that will assure a healthy, lasting, vibrant, sexual relationship with a partner. When dealing with long tern committed and positive relationships, sex and intimacy go hand in hand. One can not exist without the other and you will find that by combining the two you and your partner will experience a much more meaningful and therefore fulfilling interaction. Some people do not even know the difference between sex and intimacy.
There is such a huge misunderstanding of what the two really are. The truth is the key to figuring out the secrets to happiness within a relationship, you must know ahead of time- each experience is unique to the individuals involved. However, there are key elements that if monitored, are sure to lead to a healthier partnership. After reviewing our articles, we hope you can take something home with you!
Featured image from Cure Joy.
Tips for a Healthy Sex Relationship
Here are some key factors that play the most important roles in keeping the love alive and healthy.
– You MUST have respect for each other.
– When in difficult relationships, understanding is sometimes the one thing that can save the love that exists, and when you surrender to it, you will find that its much more fulfilling to bow down in certain situations yielding a comfortable place for the two people involved to be who they are, regardless of mistakes or fault.
– If things get rough, talk to each other. But, while talking remember, UNDERSTANDING AND RESPECT. Try not to raise your voice. If you feel passionate and heated, take a walk, calm down and remember you are here because you love this person. Even if you are not having to deal with hard issues it is still important to talk to each other. Let your partner know how beautiful you think he is or how she makes your heart jump. Reinforce positive things that fill your life with security and comfort, if you want those things to live on. Talk. Make communication a safe place by reassuring each other that within your relationship exists a safe place to discuss ANYTHING, even if that “anything” is hard or painful.
– Try a little spontaneity and see for yourself how well received it is. Try coming up from behind your lover while he or she is doing some ordinary house chore. For example if your lover is at the computer working or in the garage etc.. come up from behind them unexpectedly and caress them with suggestive tones. Try telling your partner that you will be busy with the kids all day, then have a prearranged babysitter come by and pick them up sending the kids away without your partner knowing. Find your partner unknowing in an open room all to yourselves and walk right up to them and start to take their clothes off. Tell your partner you have to run an errand together and take them to a hotel room. When your partner wakes up to go to work- set aside 30 minutes for sex. A great start for a demanding work day!
Show some confidence. Nothing is more attractive than someone who exudes confidence in their life in general and especially in their sex life. I’m not talking about being egotistical. Being sure of yourself allows for progress, communication, effectives, and will even change the way you and your partner feel together. You will notice with just a slight bit of confidence even in the scariest situations, you will feel empowered. No one is born with all the right touches, or moves sexually. It takes practice and you have to be confident that you can handle the situation, otherwise you’ll just end up worrying about it and you will never get down to it. Jump in there, have some faith in yourself, ask questions, and get the ball moving!
– Even in the most passionate and loving relationships everyone should allow their partner some space. Take time for yourself or arrange a day where your partner can relax on his or her own with no distractions around. Take the phone off, relax with a great book, enjoy a movie alone or go out for a walk. Time alone rejuvenates the spark when you see each other again. There is no need to be involved so much in a relationship that you forget about your individual needs and goals. Healthy relationships support and create space between two people. You must allow yourself time to develop together and individually as they make each move toward a healthy interaction easier and more desirable. You can be an individual within a relationship without depleting either.
Exercise, eat healthy, be creative, find something you feel passionate about and explore more. do your best to stay fit so you can increase your sexual endurance and performance. You are what you eat and what you put in is what you put out, so think twice about having that fast food hamburger three times a week. It is a lot easier to stay healthy once you get a routine down. Ask your partner to do it with you. Support each other at a healthier lifestyle and grow into a healthier sexual relationship as well!
– Be sure to stay up on the key elements that make you shine. I am not talking about dressing nice or filling your life up with materialistic things. I am talking about keeping your personality attractive and you tone vibrant. There is a time and a place for lulls or depression, and we all succumb to those things at some point or another. But do your best to stay positive and fun and you will notice you will attract the same in your life. Yes, it can get hard and sometimes everything seems on your back, but life is the result of your perception. We only live once, so don’t take the things around you for granted and enjoy the moments you have here on this beautiful journey. Be attractive and attract the positive forces in your life. If you are constantly depressed or nervous or demanding or unsatisfied, you will no doubt end up in those exact situations within a relationship. You are as great as the people you surround yourself with. Be only the best, and you will attract the best!
Sensuality is really important and keeps your love life from mocking a bad porn flick. Talking nasty and having great hard abrupt sex is fine and can be extremely arousing and satisfying, but don’t forget the sensuality. Sensuality can turn your lover into a ball of fire and at the same time have them melting into your hands. It is the most meaningful sense of expression. If you can look your lover in the eye without being tacky about it, you can see straight through that person and bond in ways you never thought were possible. Both men and women need sensuality. Ladies, don’t forget to treat your man with respect when it comes to this. Most men have never been treated with endearing sensuality because its supposed to be “the mans job” to cater to the sensual needs of the female. Try it out on your man, and see if he likes it.
Creating erotic environments can be very fun. Try running a bath for your lover with candles and bubbles. Set up a nice background of mellow sexy music. Start off with a massage or a desert of some kind. Bath your lover from head to toe not focusing on sex at first or maybe even not at all. If he or she is tried from a hard day, just cater to their needs and help them relax. You will find the please you receive from making them feel better is just as good as getting a massage yourself! Try getting a hotel and preparing it before you get there. Have a great bottle of wine waiting and maybe an arrangement of roses with a cd already playing. Make sure you have enough to drink and snacks so you don’t have to leave. This is your time to spend together. Another thing you can do is to try undressing in a different room other than the bedroom.
TALK TALK TALK to each other about your wants and needs. If you would like to try something new, talk to your partner about it. Be respectful of their space and understand you may not get the response you want at first. Making one another feel comfortable within new experiences is the key to opening new doors. You want your partner to feel as safe and open as possible in order for either one of you to end up having a great experience. Talk with respect, making sure you use positive reinforcement when discussing the things you do and do not like about your sex life. Be honest and willing to listen. You will learn more about each other and yourselves that you ever thought was possible. communicating can open your sex life up to a whole new world and you will discover that it gets easier to talk as time goes on and as you get more comfortable letting each other know what you are interested in. None of us can read minds, and in the bedroom, its better for all if we are not forced to. Aside from talking about sexual wants and needs be open about emotions and insecurities as well. If you can feel safe being honest (while still being respectful) then the sky is the limit.
Try an erotic massage. Start off by turning off the phone and clipping your nails! Make sure you have a water-based lubricant (to avoid encouraging vaginal infections) close by.
Massaging your male partner-
The basic principle of male genital massage is that you should slow down, stop, or change what you are doing just before ejaculation becomes inevitable. The best way to accomplish this is for the man to give a signal just before this point is reached. Verbal cues, raising a hand, pulling away slightly, or even subtle body language cues can all work well. This repeated “peaking” process can sometimes help men learn to have multiple orgasms without ejaculating, and can also be practiced during solo masturbation. Although delaying ejaculation during the course of the massage is desirable from the perspective of maximizing pleasure, many partners do like to finish the massage with one.
- Ejaculation provides a considerable spark of pleasure, but can leave men too fatigued to enjoy the rest of the evening or do a good job massaging their partner; opposite-sex partners who like to finish male genital massage with ejaculation should have the woman receive her massage first.
- It’s also fun to encourage your partner with hot talk (possibly weaving together a verbal fantasy based on your partner’s desires). Letting your partner know verbally and non-verbally that you’re actively enjoying his pleasure can be a powerful aphrodisiac.
Role playing and Fantasizing
Talk to your partner about your fantasies and what role playing ideas you have thought about. Sex can be intimate and yet you can still have moments of pure fun. Leave your world for a moment and try role playing as a way to embrace another realm sexually with your lover. Role playing can consist of creating environments or characters verbally or physically. Talk about your fantasies and live them out as best you can with your lover. The power of suggestion will surprise you and make you feel that much more aroused guaranteed!!
Set up a romantic date
Have a babysitter without your partner knowing show up and take the kids away if you have kids.Then treat him or her to a surprise date. Allow enough time for your partner to have a relaxing shower or bath and lay out your favorite outfit for him or her to wear with maybe some sexy lingerie for afterwards. Visit the restaurant you will eat at earlier in the day and tell them to bring out a small bouquet of maybe 2-3 roses or iris’s or some other flower to the table just for your partner. give them your credit card before hand and tell them to run the bill and bring it to you only when your partner is not around. If you have to leave the table to go to the restroom, sneak in and sign it so as not to have money enter in the mood at all. Take your partner out for a drink at a martini bar or some other such place, or maybe for a moonlight walk. When you get home light candles and play relaxing music and give your partner a massage and the rest is up to you.
Know your body
Get to know your own body. Take time out to explore what makes you feel good so that you can communicate that with your partner. The more familiar you are with your body the more fun you can have. Try getting a mirror and looking at yourself masturbate so you can figure out what motions are enjoyable as compared to a little harsh. A little exercise that was taken from the bbc explains a good way to spend some quality time with yourself. Here’s how:
- Start by running a bath.
- Make it deep and warm (if you don’t have a bath, a shower will do). Choose your favorite bath foam or oil – step in and relax.
- Focus on the warmth of the water on your skin. Do you feel the temperature differently on different parts of your body? How does moving the water over your body feel? Notice the varying textures of your skin and the areas that are most sensitive to touch.
- Throughout the exercise, think about how you feel. Relaxed? Invigorated? Pampered?If you feel guilty or silly spending so much time on yourself, remind yourself that if you know your body better you’re likely to enjoy sex more.
- Dry yourself with a warm towel Focus on how it feels. Does your body prefer being rubbed hard or softly? Maybe the feelings are different on different parts of your body. Dry each part of your body in turn – even in-between your toes.
- Explore your body from head to toe. You could use a body lotion if you like. Think about what kind of touch different parts of your body enjoys.
- Experiment with different pressure and different strokes, noticing what direction of stroke your body prefers. Spend some time touching your chest, particularly your nipples. This can be a pleasurable area for many men as well as women.
- Move your hands down now to focus more specifically on your stomach, hips, bottom and finish with your inner thighs.
I’m a sex enthusiast, published fantasy writer and the editing director of Brewin’ After Dark. I write about topics surrounding sexual health. Thanks for reading and add me on Twitter!